My Target adventure

I was in Target on Monday, wandering around, still scarred from my doctor’s visit earlier that morning. As I was browsing the aisles, I took notice of how many people were wearing Bluetooth headsets! I got the scoop on some really good information by following these people around, pretending to be interested in frozen lasagna and steering wheel covers.

The man in the business suit with the lisp was trying to haggle a deal. According to him, “90% of something is something.” I couldn’t really figure out what he was talking about.

Another man, wearing a tie and a long black jacket, was wheeling and dealing some serious sales as well, all the while looking at lamps with slightly-too-feminine lamp shades. Hmm…

A twenty-something girl with freckles and long curly hair was looking at the refrigerated cheeses and pouring her heart out that she’s not upset at the situation, she’s just mad that Sophie said that to her, because it just takes her straight back to the issues she has with her father from when she was younger.

While looking at the canned vegetables, I learned that yes, it was a crazy night last night, and no, no one knows how Jackie got home. We hope she didn’t drive herself home, but we don’t think she did, because Katie saw Jackie hanging around with Billy all night. We hope she doesn’t start that up again. He’ll only break her heart.

For a moment, I considered picking up my cell phone and pretending like I was having an interesting conversation, too. But the only things I could think about were the traumatizing probing I had received that morning from the middle-aged lady doctor and the fact that I was so hungry, my shopping cart was full of nothing but snack foods and wine. Plus, I don’t have a Bluetooth. So, I opted against it.

fauxfringe

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