OK, so sometimes I’m a brat.

This morning.

Jillian: There was a bug in our bed last night!

Coleman: Where?

J: It was before you came to bed. You were still watching tv in the living room. I was sleeping, and I rolled over and noticed this black fuzz by my face, so I picked it up and put it on your pillow, and–

C: Wait, on my pillow?

J: Yeah, and it turned out to be a bug!

C: Why would you put it on my pillow?

J: Because.

C: Did you also put the tv remote under my pillow?

J: …Yes.

C: Why?

J: Because I wanted it close so I could turn the tv up or down if I needed to, but I didn’t want to be too close to it, in case I rolled over it or something. That would be uncomfortable.

C: So you put it under my pillow?

J: Uh huh.

C: So, did I sleep with a bug on my pillow?

J: No, I put a tissue down on the bed and waited until it crawled on it. Then, I bundled it up in the tissue and flushed it down your toilet.

C: You need to call pest control today and have them spray our apartment for bugs, just in case there are more.

J: Ugh.

C: What?

J: I don’t want to call pest control.

C: Do you want to sleep with bugs in our bed?

J: No.

C: Ok then.

J: Fine. Oh, by the way, the window in your office is leaking water.

C: What?!

J: Yeah, I saw it earlier. Must be from all the rain.

C: Well, did you clean it up?

J: … No.

C: Why not?

J: I forgot.

C: Jillian! You can’t just let water sit there. It’s going to warp the wood and get the carpet all wet!

J: Sorry.

C: Can you go clean it up?

J: I’ll get you a towel.

C: (Sigh) Sometimes you frustrate me.

J: Sometimes I do.

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fauxfringe

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