An awkward conversation and the best sentence ever!

The other night, I went to the liquor store after work to get myself a bottle of wine. Coleman was working late, so I was looking forward to a night with some Pinot Noir and Dog the Bounty Hunter.

I grabbed my favorite wine and walked up to the counter. One of the cashiers, the one with the gauges in his ears, was busy helping a lady with wild-curly hair, so I walked up to the register that the guy with the knit cap was working.

Knit Cap: Hey.

Jillian: Hi!

Knit Cap: How are you tonight?

Jillian: Good. Here’s my ID.

Knit Cap: (Looks at ID. Compares it with the name on my credit card.) Thanks.

Jillian: How are you? Wait, did I already ask you that?

Knit Cap: No. I’m good.

Gauged Ears: Hey! How do you spell “Menage”?

Knit Cap: Huh?

Gauged Ears: “Menage”?

Jillian: As in “Menage a trois”?

Gauged Ears: Yep. Is it an “e” or an “a”?

Jillian: An “e”. M-e-n-a-g-e.

Knit Cap: (Looking at me) Menage a trois?

Jillian: Yeah–

Wild-Curly Hair: (To Gauged Ears) Ooh, don’t you feel stupid? That girl knows how to spell “menage” and you don’t!

Knit Cap: It’s $8.94.

Jillian: What’s $8.94? Oh, the wine.

Knit Cap: Yeah.

Gauged Ears: Are you sure it’s an “e” and not an “a”?

Jillian: Yeah. It’s an “e”.

(Knit Cap looks at me weird.)

Jillian: I know because I bought a bottle of Menage a Trois Pinot Grigio last night. I mean, that sounds bad–

Wild-Curly Hair: The Pinot is bad?

Jillian: No, it sounds bad. Because I bought it last night. And now I’m buying another bottle of wine tonight.

Wild-Curly Hair: Well, I don’t want it if it tastes bad.

Gauged Ears: It doesn’t taste bad.

Wild-Curly Hair: That girl just said so!

Jillian: No, I said it sounds bad.  But I didn’t buy it for me last night. It was for someone else.

Knit Cap: The menage was for someone else?

Jillian: Yeah. Well, not… It was a party.

Knit Cap: Ok, whatever. You’re all set.

Jillian: Thanks. Have a good day.

Knit Cap: Thanks.

Jillian: Whoops! I mean night. It’s dark outside, I guess.

Knit Cap: What?

Jillian: Nothing.

Gauged Ears: Thanks for the spelling.

Jillian: Huh?

Gauged Ears: I said thanks for the spelling. Menage?

Jillian: Oh yeah. You’re welcome.

Phew! That conversation was exhausting.

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

In other news, this is the best sentence ever:

“We have die pine tree in the back yard. Its free if you can cut it down and hail it away it but you to clean up your mess thank you”

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