[A few weeks ago. “Margaret” walks into my office.]
Jillian: Hi Margaret! How are you today?
Margaret: Well, not too good.
J: Oh really? I’m sorry to hear that.
M: Yep. Just found out my mom died.
J: Oh! … Oh, wow. I’m so sorry.
[One week later. Margaret walks into my office.]
J: Hi Margaret! How are you today?
M: Well, I’ve been better.
J: That’s too bad. Hopefully your day will improve!
M: Well, I don’t know about that. Did I tell you that my mom died last week?
J: Yes, you did. I’m sorry.
M: Well, I just found out that my sister died. Of the Swine Flu.
J: Oh my goodness! I’m so sorry Margaret!
[Insert small talk]
[Did I mention Margaret is on crutches with some sort of boot on her foot?]
J: Do you need me to help you up? Here. Let me get your crutches for you.
M: No, no. I’m ok.
J: What happened to your foot?
M: Well, I broke it.
J: Oh no! How long will it take to heal?
M: Probably never. Doctor says we might have to amputate.
J: ………… [crickets] …………. Ok! Well, have a good day!
[Three weeks later. I call Margaret.]
J: Hello? Margaret? This is Jillian. I’m calling with a quick question. A neighbor of yours has been hearing running water for the last few hours, and I’m wondering if it’s coming from your apartment. Are you home now? Have you heard anything like that? Could you have left something running?
M: Well, I’m not sure. I haven’t been home in two weeks.
J: Oh! Are you on vacation?
M: I’m in the hospital.
J: ….. Are you ok?
M: Well, I was going to the doctor to check on my broken foot, and on the way into his office, I fell and broke my other leg.
M: I’ve been in the hospital for two weeks. Not sure when I’ll be able to go home.
[Meantime, maintenance staff enters Margaret’s apartment to check on the possible leak and discovers that she’s a hoarder.]
[One week later. The phone rings in my office, and I pick it up.]
M: Hi. This is Margaret. Someone just called me from there.
J: Ok, well I’m not sure who it was. Did you listen to the voicemail they left you? Do you know why they were calling?
M: Well, my cell rang, and when I picked it up, I saw it was your office. I tried to open it, but I was struggling — cause I’m still in this hospital bed with two broken legs — and I dropped my phone.
M: In a cup of tea.
M: Now my phone has stopped working.
M: So, I don’t know who called or why they were calling.
J: …..Let me place you on hold. Just a moment.
I told you it’s not funny.