“I’m only 23 years behind everyone else!”

“I finally figured out how to open and close my computer!” Audrey exclaimed when I picked up the phone.

“Good for you!” I said, smiling to myself.

“Yes,” she said. “Before, I had to tap that bar — what’s that bar? What do you call it? You know, that bar?”

“Uhh…”

“You know. To turn it off. Do you have one of those computers that folds shut?”

“A laptop? Yes.”

“Well, before, I had to tap the bar to turn it off, and the lady would come on and say something like, ‘She’s closed. Windows is closed.’ And I’d say ‘Aw, go to hell,’ and then I’d know it was done and I’d fold it. But now, I figured out to close it so it turns off!”

“Ok,” I said. “Way to go!”

“I need to take one of those classes, like I told you before. At that free college.”

“Oh, yeah. You should look into that.”

“I’ve taken them before. I finished school, but you know it’s always important to learn, so I took some classes for Real Estate, and, um… what’s it called? Import/Export. And one for Assertive.”

“Err…”

“But sometimes I would sit there in the class and say to myself, ‘Why am I still sitting here?!’ Have you taken any courses since you graduated with your Bachelor’s?”

“No, I haven’t,” I answered.

“Well, you should. You should always keep learning. Ask your Mother. I’m sure she’ll pay for it. I’m going to take one of those Windows classes at the free college, but you know those people who teach the classes aren’t certified.”

“Oh, yeah.”

“But, I don’t need certified. I’m not working. What do I need certified for?”

“True. Well, I think that’s great that you’re wanting to take a class. It’s important to put yourself out there and learn –”

“Stop,” Audrey interrupted. “My other phone is ringing. The cellular one. I have to go. Bye.”

Click.

“Oh– ok,” I said. “Bye.”