Michaels, Collinsworth, McIntyre?

Upon returning home from Michigan on Sunday, Coleman and I headed down to Lucas Oil for the Colts vs Chargers game. It’s a wonder I made it up the stairs to our seats, considering all I ate at Thanksgiving!

Coleman has been so generous this season in taking me to the games. I mean, he could just invite his friends to every game, but knowing how much I like football, he takes me instead!

To show my appreciation, I try to impress him with my knowledge of football, (I think this is something I’ve mentioned before), by saying things like this:

Jillian: “Oops, I forgot to change into my Colts shirt!”

Coleman: “That’s ok. It’s not a big deal.”

Jillian: “Ok, good. I’m wearing my favorite shirt — it’s light blue and yellow.”

Coleman: “GASP. You are?! Those are the Chargers’ colors!”

Jillian: “I know! I’m just kidding!”

Bam! Impressed him with my knowledge of the opposing team!

Coleman: “84’s looking good today.”

Jillian: “Oh, you mean Jacob Tamme?”

Whoosh! Memorized the roster!

Coleman: “Nice run!”

Jillian: [High fives] “They’ve given the ball to Donald Brown four times in a row now!”

Zing! I’ve been paying attention to the game!

Sadly, those were the highlights of the game, because I’m pretty sure the Colts, uh, SUCKED. (Yes, that’s football terminology.)

Which brings me to the only thing that sucked more: the couple sitting next to me.

Y  I  K  E  S  !

Hey, Lady. If you’re going to eat trash and then smoke 50 cigarettes, you’re going to need some gum. I’m sure the Pro Shop will have some Colts-branded mints or something that you can buy. You should definitely go check it out.

Hi, Mister Colts Fan. You know when everyone was booing earlier? That was at the refs, NOT at Peyton Manning. So, stop booing him every time he touches the ball. You’re in the wrong crowd for that. Also, everyone stopped booing about 25 minutes ago. Maybe you didn’t notice.

Though I’m sure you’re merely concerned for the welfare of the Colts organization, Mr and Mrs, I don’t think that Manning will be ‘fired’. I know, I know. He’s ‘the worst quarterback’ in the league and he ‘always interceptions the ball’ — Interceptions? Not football terminology — but I’m pretttty sure we’ll see him again next week.

ANYWAY…

Where was I going with this? Oh yeah!

Thankfully, Coleman helped me solve the biggest dilemma of them all.

Diet Coke in a bottle, as opposed to a cup, is much less likely to spill on the girl in front of you!
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