Ringing in 2011 with GLORIOUS customer service calls!

“Ok, sir, and what would you like your password to be?”

“Fantasia!”

***

“Ma’am, what password would you like to use?”

“Dead Bear.”

***

“And, I see your password is currently set as ‘A-S-S-1-H-O-L-E’.”

***

“Are you crazy?! I would NEVER pay $53.00 for a membership. Never! Do you think I’m stupid? What did I pay last year?”

“$53.00. You have actually paid $53 for the past three years.”

***

“Ok, and your name, sir?”

“Blair Blair.”

“Umm, you said Blair…”

“Blair. Blair Blair.”

“Ok!”

***

“And, would you like to give some feedback on the photographer you hired, ma’am?”

“Yes. He was terrible.”

“Oh no! What happened?”

“I specifically told him not to take any pictures of my granddaughter’s black boyfriend. Well, he was included in a family photo. I had to call the photographer and ask him to cut that black man out before any of the pictures were printed!”

“Uh… Ok. Did he?”

“He cut out most of him, but you can still see his feet!”

***

“What is your address, sir?”

“123 Miller Avenue. Like the High Life. My faaaaavorite beer.”

“Oh, well that’s ironic!”‘

“Yeah. Life’s a breeze for this hillbilly.”

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