As Bryan and my 3 year wedding anniversary approaches, and as so many of you lovely couples are planning for your own weddings, I thought I’d repost this advice I gave back in 2014. Here’s to you, lovebirds!
One thing you may or may not know about Bryan is that he doesn’t like to talk about our love/feelings/relationship/future children’s names nearly as much as I do.
One thing you may or may not know about me is that I love to talk about our love/feelings/relationship/future children’s names all of the time. And when I’m not talking about it, I’m thinking about it. As Bryan says of me, “You love love.”
So, like any level-headed fiancée, I often try to trick Bryan into talking about gushy things.
Bryan: “Check out this new mountain bike!”
Jillian: “Oh, that’s really neat. You know, that mountain bike reminds me of how much we love each other. Let’s hold hands and talk about it.”
Unfortunately, he is not easily fooled.
We’ve started doing these date nights, which were weekly but are now kind of bi-weekly, where one of us chooses something fun for us to do together. A few weeks ago, I came up with the best plan for a date night activity.
We would go to dinner at some place casual – somewhere with beer and wings. Right up Bryan’s alley. Then, I would sneakily propose a game that he would never be suspicious of: The Question Game. Yes. I would trick him with beer and wings and ask him deep questions and he would begin to talk about his feelings and how much he loves me and he would not even realize he was doing it. Foolproof!
It went something like this:
Sitting at a table. Sports on the bar TV. We order drinks and wings and burgers.
Jillian: “This place is neat. I heard they have great wings.”
Bryan: “Yeah, me too. I’m starving! I had a really long day.”
Jillian: “Right. So, since it’s date night, I thought of a super-fun idea! Let’s play a really cool game while we’re waiting for our food!”
Suspicious Bryan: “…a game?”
Jillian: “Yes! This will be so fun! It’s called The Question Game!”
Very Suspicious Bryan: “I don’t really feel like asking questions.”
Jillian: “That’s ok! I’ll go first! I’ll ask questions, and all you have to do is answer!”
Bryan: “I don’t think -“
If I just keep talking, he can’t interrupt me! Louder! Quicker!
Jillian: “SO THE WAY YOU PLAY THIS GAME–”
Bryan: “I just don’t really know–”
Jillian: “IS THAT I’LL ASK YOU THREE QUESTIONS–”
Bryan: “Can I please eat first?”
Jillian: “AND YOU GIVE ONE ANSWER FOR EACH QUESTION–”
Bryan: “This doesn’t sound like a game.”
Jillian: “ANDTHENYOUASKMEQUESTIONS ANDITWILLBE SOSOSOSOSOFUN!”
Bryan: “I know you like to talk about feelings, but I don’t really feel like a deep conversation right now. I had a long day.”
Jillian: “Yep, yep, me too. Completely understand. I’ll just start and we’ll see how this goes.”
Bryan: “Ok, but keep it light, please? I really am just kind of tired and hungry.”
Jillian: “Yep! No problem. Light it is.”
Bryan: “Ok, thanks. Go ahead.”
Jillian: “What is your biggest fear about getting married?”
Jillian: “What? Ok lighter? Ok. What was the saddest moment of your life?”
Bryan’s face falls.
Jillian: “Your biggest regret? The thing you love the most about me, then. Your favorite thing about me? If you could describe me in one word, what would it be?”
Somehow, he saw through my plan.
Good sport that he is, he did eventually answer three questions with one word answers.
Looks like I won that game after all!